Why Zen, Why Me, and How Did I Get Here?

Why Zen, why me, and how did I get here?

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” Joseph Campbell

Midway in my career as a Psychiatrist in the United States Department of Veterans Affairs I was assigned to work in the Women’s Clinic to care for heavily traumatized individuals in longer term therapy.  I also cared for a number of male veterans who fought in heavy combat in WW II.  In treating those who suffered and continued to suffer with combat trauma and / or military sexual trauma and I soon began to explore “mindfulness” as a technique to help my patients cope with the anxiety and the increased reactivity they often felt. During this time I also started to incorporate the thinking of Viktor Frankl and Mans Search for Meaning that I had been exposed to as a resident. Exploring Logotherapy was at the suggestion of my wife Diane who is an Oncology Nurse and my colleague Steve Southwick MD whose writings are very influential in Logotherapy. One cannot begin to read about Mindfulness without being thrust into its roots in Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Zen Meditation and ultimately the Tao.

One’s life experiences (both good and bad) shape you for the next set of experiences. In college I fenced epee. Competing in this sport you realize that in order to become better you not only had to be able to technically master your weapon but also master your mind, being able to anticipate your opponent’s mind and predict his / her attacks and defenses. This led to me reading the lives and writings of the Samurai Miyamoto Musashi and The Book of Five Rings. Musashialso known by his Buddhist name Niten Dōraku won 62 duals and developing the Nito Ichi-ryū, style of swordsmanship. After defeating all challengers, he retired to a cave to meditate, paint, practice calligraphy and write his book which incorporated Zen principles to swordsmanship and life.

The samurai lived by a code of Bushidō, 武士道, “the way of the warrior”, a moral code concerning samurai attitudes, behavior and lifestyle that evolved over centuries stressing a combination of sincerity, frugality, loyalty, martial arts mastery, honor until death, “bravery”, and “loyalty to the samurai’s lord. The introduction of Zen Buddhism into Japan during the Kamakura period (1185-1333), found an audience with the samurai who were quick to adopt it, finding that many of the concepts resonated deeply with their own practices. Integration of Zen into samurai culture influenced not only their combat effectiveness, but also their philosophical and artistic pursuits. It would seem that Zen, a Buddhist religion that emphasized peace, compassion, and acceptance would be at odds with the samurai culture but the concepts below resonated with their culture

  • Focused Concentration
  • Action Over Thought
  • Facing Death
  • Interest in Poetry
  • Munen-muso (No Thought, No Mind)
  • Enlightenment

After undergraduate I was accepted into a combined MD PhD program at Case Western Reserve in 1975 which was intense and stressful. At the end of my second year after I had taken Part One of the Medical Boards and passed my PhD qualifying exams and began the research portion of my program. At this time, I also started swimming for health and stress reduction which I did for two years. Counting strokes and lengths in a pool with water flowing over me is its own form of mindfulness and meditation. In 1977 I was exposed to bicycling and then bike racing and transitioned away from swimming (although in the last year I have started swimming one day a week). I continue ride and race to this day and commute to work daily on my bike.

Much is written about bicycling and Zen. For me bicycling provides a way to

  • Efficiently commute
  • Not consume resources (gasoline) needlessly
  • Expand my horizons beyond where I lived in Cleveland, Ohio
  • Exercise
  • Experience nature daily
  • Have a sense of self-reliance and mastery over my body, mind and a mechanical object (my bike)
  • Test my physical and mental limits.

As in fencing, bicycle races are not won on strength and talent alone but on tactics, mental awareness of yourself and opponents and being able to tolerate and transcend pain. Focus, training, and repetition (as in the Samurai Arts and Zen) are paramount to success.  The elements can also affect outcomes; heat, cold, ice, rain, snow, wind, climbs, descents, distance and road conditions all play parts.

I started with a team called the Cleveland Wheelman that traced it roots to a time before cars existed  (1879) https://case.edu/ech/articles/c/cleveland-bicycle-club. When I moved to Connecticut I raced for Yale and the Laurel Club. I gravitated to longer road races or multi-day races across New England. If one is racing the Spring circuit races are often held in weather that is just above freezing or in rain or sleet. In these races there are usually one or more long climbs through the Green or White Mountains where races are won or lost.  As a taller person with limited talent, I was somewhat at a disadvantage in these events as I am not a natural climber. I had to work hard specifically on climbing to become mediocre so as not get dropped on the climbs. If I did get dropped it was usually in near the summit, and I could catch the group on the descent. Training involved finding short, medium and long hills to practice climbing on. As training progressed the time and intensity spent on climbing increased until the season ended. In training and racing I begant to learn;

  • Suffering. I am aware that it is not as severe or as long in duration as many endure.
  • Pain has a definite mental component.  With training, one’s mind can attenuate but not eliminate pain
  • Visualization of pain is possible. Rather than focusing on what hurts (in this case ones legs) one can visualize pain moving away and going to a small ball over your head. The ball floats avove, is there in an abstract way and does not not dominate you or your thoughts, telling you to quit.
  • This might be what the Matrial Arts call Munen-Muso (No Thought, No Mind), reacting without thinking. https://en.kokusaibujinrenmei.org/Blogs/martial-strategies-concepts/munen-muso-acting-without-thinking-martial-arts
  • At the heart of the Munen Muso lies the notion of “Empty mind“, a mind devoid of distractions and worries, ready to respond instantly and precisely. When a martial artist reaches this state, he becomes a sharp and efficient instrument, capable of adapting to any challenge that arises. The clear and Untethered allows for acute perception of the present moment, facilitating quick and effective decision-making in high-stress situations.
  • The practice of Munen Muso in martial arts involves a constant training to free the mind of superfluous thoughts. Through meditation, concentration, and repetition of movements, practitioners learn to achieve this state of “no-mind.” This approach is not only limited to physical training, but also extends to the mentality adopted during combat.
  • I suspect that Victor Frankl love of climbing brought forth Munen-Muso in him

Cycling also teaches one to:

  • Balance Heart Rare, Breathing, Cadence and Power Output so they are in harmony
  • Breathing. Each breath is visualized as your diaphragm fully pulling your lungs down for full inflation and then exhaling in order to catch the next breath. No shallow breathing, gasping or panting,
  • Breathing is synchronized this with your pedal cadence. Ideally your maximum inspiration occurs with your pedal downstroke.
  • Visualizing the summit. In the mountains some climbs are long, there are switchbacks or the summit is shrouded in fog so it can’t be seen. In yor mind you need to have an image of where it is an race toward it.
  • Manage going into oxygen debt. Sometimes you are right below your limit (lactate threshold) and the road pitches up or you need to pass someone or a person is trying to ride away and you have to increase your work and go into oxygen debt (anarobic exercise). It is painful as you are already right below your limit. You can learn to tolerate the pain as it is transient and then recover when the need is over.

When it all comes together cmbing mountains on a bike one is then able to focus on ones breathing (I suspect like Zen Meditation) and ones surroundings. Pain is contolled and fades into the background. Suffering ceases to exist or exists in a small space floating above your head. Once when I was asked about what I remembered of the race to the Summit of Mount Washington in New Hampshire I was only able to say I remembered the tire of the bike in front of me and the surface of the road beneath. I was searching for what I thought was the smoothest path on the road even thougth the imperfections were miniscule. I watched the numbers on the computer on my bike making sure my heart rate and power stayed in the ranges that they needed to be for me to finish. Computers and heart rate monitors are relatively recent, for years I raced without them relying my training and experience.