Why Zen, why me, and how did I get here?
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” Joseph Campbell
Midway in my career as a Psychiatrist in the United States Department of Veterans Affairs I was assigned to work in the Women’s Clinic to care for heavily traumatized individuals in longer term therapy. I also cared for a number of male veterans who fought in heavy combat in WW II. In treating those who suffered and continued to suffer with combat trauma and / or military sexual trauma and I soon began to explore “mindfulness” as a technique to help my patients cope with the anxiety and the increased reactivity they often felt. During this time I also started to incorporate the thinking of Viktor Frankl and Mans Search for Meaning that I had been exposed to as a resident. Exploring this was at the suggestion of my wife Diane who is an Oncology Nurse and colleague Steve Southwick MD whose writings are very influential in Logotherapy. One cannot begin to read about Mindfulness without being thrust into its roots in Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Zen Meditation and ultimately the Tao.
One’s life experiences (both good and bad) shape you for the next set of experiences. In college I fenced epee. Competing in this sport you realize that to become better you not only had to be able to technically master your weapon but also master your mind, as well as anticipating your opponent’s mind and predict his / her attacks and defenses. This led to me reading the lives and writings of the samurai a the greatest samurai Miyamoto Musashi and his book the Book of Five Rings. Musashi also known by his Buddhist name Niten Dōraku won 62 duals and developing the Nito Ichi-ryū, style of swordsmanship. After defeating all challengers, he retired to a cave to meditate, paint, practice calligraphy and write his book which incorporated Zen principles to swordsmanship and life.
The samurai lived by a code of Bushidō (武士道, “the way of the warrior”), a moral code concerning samurai attitudes, behavior and lifestyle that evolved over centuries stressing a combination of sincerity, frugality, loyalty, martial arts mastery, honor until death, “bravery”, and “loyalty to the samurai’s lord. The introduction of Zen Buddhism into Japan during the Kamakura period (1185-1333), found an audience with the samurai who were quick to adopt it, finding that many of the concepts resonated deeply with their own practices. Integration of Zen into samurai culture influenced not only their combat effectiveness, but also their philosophical and artistic pursuits. It would seem that Zen, a Buddhist religion that emphasized peace, compassion, and acceptance would be at odds with the samurai culture but the concepts of
- Focused Concentration
- Action Over Thought
- Facing Death
- Interest in Poetry
- Munen-muso (No Thought, No Mind)
- Enlightenment
Resonated with their culture. Both sides benefited from each other; the priests from the patronage and protection of the samurai and the samurai from the Zen teachings. https://budojapan.com/culture-event/241015/
After undergraduate I was accepted into a combined MD PhD program at Case Western Reserve in 1975 which was intense and stressful. At the end of my second year after I had taken part one of the Medical Boards and passed my PhD qualifying exams and began the research portion of my program. At this time, I also started swimming for health and stress reduction which I did for two years. Counting strokes and lengths in a pool with water flowing is its own form of mindfulness and meditation. In 1977 I was exposed to bicycling and then bike racing and transitioned away from swimming (although in the last year I have started swimming one day a week). I continue ride and race to this day and commute to work daily on my bike.
Much is written about bicycling and Zen. For me bicycling provides a way to
- Efficiently commute
- Not consume resources (gasoline) needlessly
- Expand my horizons beyond where I lived in Cleveland, Ohio
- Exercise
- Experience nature daily
- Have a sense of self-reliance and mastery over my body, mind and a mechanical object (my bike)
- Test my physical and mental limits.
As in fencing, bicycle races are not won on talent alone but on tactics, mental awareness of yourself and opponents and being able to transcend pain. Focus, training, and repetition (as in the samurai arts and Zen) are paramount to success. The elements can also affect outcomes; heat, cold, ice, rain, snow, wind, climbs, descents, distance and road conditions all play parts.
I started with a team called the Cleveland Wheelman that traced it roots to a time before cars existed (1879) https://case.edu/ech/articles/c/cleveland-bicycle-club; When I moved to Connecticut I raced for Yale and the Laurel Club. I gravitated to longer road races or multi-day races across New England. In these races there are usually one or more long climbs through the Green or White Mountains where races are won or lost. If one is racing the spring circuit races are often held in weather that is just above freezing or in rain or sleet. As a taller person with limited talent, I was somewhat at a disadvantage in these races as I am not a natural climber. I had to work hard specifically on climbing to become mediocre so as not get dropped on the climbs. If I did it was usually in near the summit, and I could catch the group on the descent. Training involved finding short, medium and long hills to practice on and getting into a schedule hill that increased in duration and intensity as the season progressed. I learned
- Suffering (not as much as many)
- That pain has a mental component. With once mind we can attenuate but not eliminate pain
- Visualization of pain can happen. Rather tan focusing on what hurts (in this case my legs) one can visualize it moving away then going to a small ball over your head. While it is there it is not dominating your thoughts or more correctly Munen-muso (No Thought, No Mind)
- Balancing, HR, Cadence and Power so they are in harmony
- Breathing. Visualizing each breath as your diaphragm fully pulling your lungs to inflate to the maximum and synchronizing this with your cadence.
- Visualizing the summit. In the mountains some climbs are longer or the summit is shrouded in fog so it can’t be seen,
- Managing oxygen debt. Sometimes you are right below your limit (lactate threshold) and the road pitches up or you need to pass someone or a person is trying to ride away and you have to increase your work and go into oxygen debt (anaerobic). You can learn to tolerate this for a period of time and then recover.
When in balance one is then able to focus on ones breathing (I suspect like Zen Meditation) and ones surroundings and pain fade into the background. Suffering ceases to exist or exists in a small space floating above your head. Once when I was asked about what I remember of the race to the Summit of Mount Washington in New Hampshire I was only able to say I remember the tire of the bike in front of me and the surface of the road beneath searching for what I thought was the smoothest path amd watching the computer on my bike as the numbers changed making sure my heart rate and power stayed in the ranges that they needed to be for me to finish. Computers and heart rate monitors are relatively recent for years I raced without them.